The half-empty carriage raced through the tunnel, tapping out a schoolyard rhyme
never earned honor nor wealth, tick-tick-tick-tock
never tasted how sharp life could get, tick-tick-tick-tock
even a dog would howl at such a life!...
I swallowed. Closed my eyes and sank into the swamp of drowsiness.
Glug!
My body went under. The future glimmered before me in mother-of-pearl, like Valerka’s Mercedes. I climbed into the white leather back seat. The limousine pulled away. Moved. Braked. The sun shone. Palm trees rustled green. Girls on the promenade looked my way and waved. I got out. Their figures swayed with languor and desire. A voice announced: “Mind the doors, next station — Kolomenskaya.”
Oop!
A jolt of anxiety struck: after Kolomenskaya comes Kashirskaya, I’m getting off soon! I rubbed my eyes, yawned, glanced at the face of my “Polyot” watch and fixed the position of the hands. Ten to eleven.
Ten minutes till Kashirskaya station. Then ten minutes on foot and — the dorm! Twenty minutes total. Half an hour left before the pillow and the blanket, before the night’s fantasies, before real, full-blooded life.
I shifted my gaze to the window, past it, to where the train had burst out of the tunnel. Out of nowhere I wanted to tear off my clothes and dive into the murky pool of the Mazut River. Dive, so that after twenty meters of falling, some invisible hand would stop me just above the surface of the water. Yes, just like that — stop, hang there for a couple of seconds, and slowly dissolve into the air. Vanish. Disappear forever, leave everyone’s sight, leave life itself.
Forget everything, and be forgotten myself.
My body went under in half-sleep. Again…
