July 10, 1993
Saturday
Drunk, reckless kamikazes, we drove home at dawn. Drove with Lyubasha and Nadyusha, who squealed on every turn. Got there without casualties, loud and cheerful.
Once home, for a pick-me-up I hit the vermouth chilling in the fridge — a mistake, a mistake, why did I do it? — and went cross-eyed drunk for good.
Zhora reported afterward that he and Lyubka had wet themselves laughing at seven in the morning, finding Nadya dozing in an armchair and me sprawled out on the floor. According to Zhorik, I’d spent the entire night filling Nadya’s ears with tall tales about the electronics department, the brutally difficult subjects studied there, and the differences between a dinistor and a thyristor.
Maybe so.
Any amount of alcohol, from moderate to unrestrained, had a negative effect on my mind. There wasn’t a single case where raising the proof in my blood improved the world around me.
Same thing every time. Loss of any human appearance, loss of touch with reality, fog, fog, fog, clearing by morning to reveal a battlefield lost outright — nothing but casualties, no trophies whatsoever. Damn it!
Always the same story. Other guys, a little wine in them, could pick up a girl on the street, lure her home, get her into bed. I alone remained the have-not.
— Don’t be sad, we’ll arrange it, — Zhorik materialized beside me. — What kind of chicks do you like?
— What kind… Pretty ones, obviously.
— Pretty’s a stretchy concept. Legs like a stepladder, a peach for an ass, and a rack up top?
— Er…
— Done! — Zhora darted for the phone, fishing his notebook out of his pocket. Sprawled into the armchair, dialed a number, listened to it ring. Dialed another, then another, another… and, bang, started shouting into the receiver:
— Hello? Two monkeys for an hour! Yeah, right now. What’s the rate for us working folk? Why so pricey? It’s noon on a Saturday, have some conscience! Especially with the regular-client discount. Damn, Mashka, well would you look at that, hi! Just found out now? I’ll come into money soon. Yeah, it’s me, Voldemar! Well, good to hear you again. What’s going on over there? Snezhka and Vetka around? Alinka? Svetka’s out too? Why later tonight? I need it now! Yeah! Been itching for it! Hm, haven’t seen those two, never nailed ’em. All right, then! Doesn’t matter which, but one’s gotta have long legs. I repeat, straight, long legs. You hear me, not bowed and not short! The second one’s gotta have a rack like Zinka’s, yeah, a firm size D… Ha-ha, well of course it’s for me. Ah, you’re my sweetheart!… Big kiss, my little turnip!
Finishing the call, worked up, Zhorik turned around:
— While they’re getting the little monkeys ready, pour the champagne. We’ll knock one back for the mood and swing over to the little brothel, it’s not far.
— I don’t want champagne or prostitutes.
— Roma, what’s with you? Take monastic vows or something? Enough putting on airs. Don’t play the virgin.
— I don’t want prostitutes.
— Sure about that? I went to the trouble for you, — a deflated Zhora walked out of the room.
There, I’d upset the guy. But it wasn’t about the prostitutes. It was about me. I wanted something else. Not paid-for sex, but real closeness. I wanted the intimacy to be more than just physical. I wanted a girl’s eyes to shine with admiration and delight: «Ah, what a guy, Roma Peskov! Smart, wonderful, one of a kind!» I wanted a girl to kiss me not because «it’s been paid for,» but because she actually wanted to. And here it was just some shop — weigh out a working girl at about sixty kilos, and make the chest bigger. Thank you. You’re welcome. Copulate to your heart’s content.
Stunned by thoughts about the place of love in life, one, and the venality of everything eternal, two, I sat down in the armchair, turned on the TV.
Fiddled with the buttons on the remote, turned it off, sat there a while. Went into my own room, and there was Zhorik sitting at the computer:
— Writing up an application form, to hire staff. Get out of here! Don’t get in my way.
I decided to go to the video rental. What genres hadn’t I covered yet? Horror and thrillers!
