— Hey, — a woman’s voice called out, gentle and anxious at once.
I cracked my eyes open and saw legs, smooth, long, tanned. A stretch of red fabric with white polka dots, no waist to speak of, bare breasts like coin purses stuffed tight, a face…
The face was familiar, belonging to the redheaded woman from the train car. Now she stood over me almost naked. The only sign of clothing was a red strip of fabric around her hips, doing its best to distract from thoughts of eternity and death.
Once again I failed to meet my fate with any dignity. Ugh!
— Yeah…
— Why are you lying here? — the woman asked, staring intently at me below the neck.
— No reason.
— I see, — she nodded, sat down next to me, ran her palm back and forth over the sand.
Something was bothering her, worrying her. What?
For the second time that day I got pulled away from playing dead, propped myself up on my elbows. Then, trying not to let my eyes snag on the swaying curves, I stood.
The woman scanned my figure from neck to sneakers. Scanned it carefully, like a sapper terrified of making a single mistake. Asked:
— What’s your name, gorgeous?
— Roman.
— Nice to meet you. I’m Veronika, — and after a beat, added: — Sergeyevna.
— Nice to meet you too.
— Listen, Romochka. Got any water?
— No.
— Anything at all, then?
— Uh… don’t know…
Her expression shifted from simply tense to tensely thoughtful, like she was working out an equation in her head.
Before long her green eyes lit up with the joy of a solution found. Veronika licked her lips:
— Kitten, what size clothes do you wear?
— Forty-six. Why?
— No reason, — Veronika ran a palm over my thigh. — Nice little pants.
— Nice, — I agreed, not understanding where Veronika Sergeyevna was going with this.
— So, how about it? Give me the jeans? You’re not stingy, are you? And I know how to do a lot of things, — she came so close my breath caught. A tight wave surged from the back of my neck down to my pants, driving blood into my cheeks, ears, and everything else. I felt myself flushing bright red.
The wave rattled my heart into a drum roll and churned through my gut. Somewhere near my stomach something sloshed, gurgled, and settled at the very bottom. Some unknown weight dropped onto my bladder and vanished. At the far end of that crazy current, a storm began spinning, a hurricane kicking up. My jeans tented instantly.
I reached to cover my erection and… ran into her hand. She was already stroking my crotch. Her face was right in front of mine, eye to eye.
— So, sweetie, — she whispered, not letting up on massaging the best part of my lower half. — Take off your little pants. We’re about to do this.
— Yes, yes, of course, — I mumbled, fumbling with fingers, pants, and everything else Veronika was touching. — Right now…
Beneath us, the dune began to shake, to buck like a wild thing. Veronika Sergeyevna shrieked, jumped back, spun around like a top. I turned my head too.
What kind of disaster was this? An earthquake?
Exactly that.
Another powerful tremor shook us! Then a third! A fourth!…
Veronika’s frequent shrieks turned into a wail. I looked around and… nearly choked on my own tongue. Something was approaching us… something shaped like a person, but impossibly huge. Legs the size of the Ostankino Tower stepped down, throwing up clouds of white dust. The torso blotted out half the sky.
A minute later it bent down, brought its face close, and it turned out to be — it couldn’t be! — mine! I saw myself through some enormous magnifying glass that didn’t exist. I knew my own mug down to the smallest detail, and now I was seeing it magnified a hundred times over. There is not, and cannot be, a more nauseating sight than your own lumpy, crumpled mouth stretched across dozens of meters; eyes buried in disgusting elephantine folds of eyelid; the crooked mountain of a nose, spewing hot wind; loose skin covered in red bumps of acne and keratosis, with stray bristles scattered here and there. Disgust washed over me so hard the fear vanished. I jumped to my feet and shouted:
— What do you want, you freak? Get out of here, you hear me?!
Veronika Sergeyevna stopped shrieking. She said: «Well, boys, sort it out between yourselves, I’m out of here!» and, with a piercing shriek, took off running. Sprinted up the next dune and vanished behind it.
The monster stretched its mouth into a grin and carried its face back up into the sky. Straightened, turned, and walked off, shaking the ground with every step…
Whew. Oh, boy…
If someone had told me I’d meet myself, and one of us would look at the other like a bug, while the other one got mouthy and picked a fight, I’d have laughed. But there was nothing funny about it. It felt like I was saying goodbye to my own sanity.
Everything around me was madness. Wild, senseless madness.
As if to confirm it, a mocking voice from the sky said: «Forgot to offer you a spyglass. Would’ve been more convenient.»
