Zhora recalled a fairly well-known Soviet joke:
A meeting at the kolkhoz. The chairman is running late. The crowd grows restless. Half an hour goes by, then an hour... He finally shows up, walks to the table, sits down, takes off his hat — and slams it on the floor with all his might: «That’s it! One less problem!» The crowd is baffled: «What, did the feed shipment come in?» «Nah... my dick stopped standing up.»
And so the chairman walked into the hall with exactly that philosophical baggage, as if crossing into a new era of his life. He didn’t complain, didn’t panic — he simply stated a fact. Somewhere deep in his subconscious, his body had decided it was time to redistribute its energy. If it used to all go toward fighting nature and women, now it could finally flow toward reason and the farm.
1. The Chairman and Biology
Age doesn’t ask permission. Testosterone, like an old machine operator, runs slower every year. The blood vessels aren’t the same pipes they were in youth. Blood arrives with a delay, the heart occasionally skips a beat, but in exchange the mind has grown clearer. The brain is no longer clouded by hormonal storms. Finally, there’s room to think about how to save the kolkhoz from debt and what to do with a mountain of rotten beets.
The erection goes, but the capacity for reasoning stays. This isn’t a tragedy — it’s biological optimization. The body understands the time for chasing romances has passed. New priorities now: machinery, the harvest, the report to the district committee.
2. The Energy That Was Freed Up
What used to go toward carnal exploits now flows into managerial zeal. The chairman grew more attentive to detail. Where his thoughts used to drift toward the milkmaid Marfa after lunch, now he studies the ledgers. Whole megawatts of analytical capacity opened up in his brain. Sexual energy transformed into the energy of order.
Paradoxically, as the erection weakens, self-control strengthens. Anxiety fades, fuss subsides. A man can finally act without impulse, calmly, like a master craftsman who knows the value of time and doesn’t waste it on trifles.
3. Hormones and Philosophy
Testosterone was dropping, sure. But so was the tendency toward foolish decisions. The chairman no longer rushed to «rescue» every skirt in the kolkhoz. He saw life more broadly now. Understanding dawned: everything flows, everything changes. No pill brings back youth, but no one can take away experience.
Wisdom isn’t a gift from heaven — it’s a side effect of falling libido. While blood is racing through the body like mad, there’s no time to think. But once quiet sets in inside, there’s a chance to hear yourself. The chairman realized, for the first time, that silence is also a form of strength.
4. A Medical Note, Kolkhoz-Scale
From a scientific standpoint, he’d simply developed age-related erectile dysfunction. Narrowed vessels, reduced nerve conduction, declining hormonal activity. Doctors could explain it with charts and formulas, but who in the kolkhoz cared about that? The chairman felt it differently: «The body decided on its own that the running around is over — time to think now.»
And indeed — once he stopped standing up in the mornings, he started getting up earlier. No physical urge required — just habit, to make it to the farm on time. Evolution had its way: the brain became the primary organ.
5. Social Silence
Back then, nobody talked about such things. Sharing intimate details wasn’t done. But almost every mature man carried the same story inside him. Some suffered in silence, some joked about it. The chairman chose the latter — and turned out wiser than most. Laughter is a way to accept reality without losing your dignity.
He understood the joke wasn’t just a joke — it was a formula for making peace with the inevitable. The energy that once drove him to conquests now goes into his work. The world isn’t collapsing, just rearranging itself. And if things have gone quiet inside — it’s time to listen to how the harvest is growing.
6. The Bottom Line
Physiology does its work. A man — like a kolkhoz chairman — eventually realizes some mechanisms won’t start with a single kick anymore. But along with that comes a surprising freedom. No need to prove anything to anyone. You can live by reason instead of impulse. That’s the adult form of power — over yourself, over circumstances, over time.
7. Conclusion
Zhora knew: the real problems hadn’t gone anywhere. The holding company, like a kolkhoz, demands attention, calculation, strategy. Solving one problem doesn’t free you from the rest. So — dive into the holding’s business, and no sleep tonight!